We have the Meds and we know how to use to em!

Yesterday my BIG box of medications came in the mail.  Above is all the medicine/hormones I will be injecting into my body. 

*The bag on the left is full of syringes'...Ouch! *

I even have one of those medical waste bins to dispose of my used needles in...

(I just re-read that sentence, wow how weird!)

On Wednesday, Winship and I went to our Injection Training class, and well... to say the least it was INTENSE. 

I found it pretty overwhelming, it was the first time in a while that I have felt anything but excited about this whole process. 

I start off by getting two shots a day in my stomach and going in every other morning to get monitored. When they tell me to I add another shot to bring me to a whopping three shots a day. Then I start going in EVERY morning to be monitored. When the Eggs reach certain size they tell me to stop the shots, I go in for one last monitoring. They mark an X on my back/upper buttocks.  That night at a very specific time (36 hours before my egg retrival) I have to get the "trigger" shot. NOW this is the one that made me the most nervous.

It is an intramuscular shot and the needle is big and long!

I watched Winship practice giving the shot (twice) and I am pretty sure that was a mistake. Seeing that large needle be pushed in so slowely and take just as long to be pulled out is giving me anxiety!!!

---ANYWAYS---

I go to the doctor on Monday morning for my Pre-IVF Evaluatation and if everything looks good they give me the go ahead to start the shots on Thursday, May 26th!

 I am going to get a little emotional now...I am having this internal battle lately (since the class) with how I a feeling.  I am super excited to do this and so optimistic that everything will work out. I am such a planner that I can't help but think about:

 What the baby will be ... 

Then if it's a boy or a girl what would I name it... 

How would I decorate the Nursery... 

When it would be due (early March if my calculations are correct) 

What will I be like as a pregnant lady???

and so on and so on...I can't help it!

BUT then I have these fleeting moments where I think about "THE" appointment where I find out the outcome and think about how terribly sad I would be if it didn't work.

  Then I remember that it is only a 60% chance that it will work on the first try.  So then I try not to let myself get excited, BUT I can't help it!

I figure it is in my best interest to be positive and optimistic and to let myself plan... Because that is WHO I AM and what I do...Right?

Or do you think I am setting myself up for disappointment???

AHHH, I don't know...

 I think I just need to take this weekend off and try my best to not think about any of it at all.

I hope you all have a: Very

and a Wonderful Weekend!

Xo,

Michelle